This Christmas, how are you feeling? Is it all pilling around you threatening to take you down. You’re trying to just make it through all the things. The list ahead looks overwhelming but there is no other choice it seems but to plow through? The groups of people have those amongst them that still trigger you. The traveling in winter gives you anxiety and overall, you just aren’t enjoying yourself that much?
What if I told you a little something that could help you this week? Our survival brain works so hard at trying to protect us. Some of those ways it does this are listed below with the unhealthy limiting belief that can be playing along with these behaviours:
- Thinking ahead and stressing at all the lists. – It feels like this will somehow help us be prepared for anything.
- Constantly trying to think of all the things at once all the time. - If I remember it all that’s how it will all get done and nothing will get missed and no one will be disappointed in me.
- Reliving the past Christmases and trigging our present one. - It happened back there so it’s bound to happen again. (Our survival brain is a master at reliving history and making it seem true in the present until we do the work.)
- Living in the future with all the what ifs and worst-case scenarios. – Our survival brain believes if we think of the worst, then we are prepared. Plus, I don’t deserve good things. Why would it be any different? (lies)
- Multitasking – This makes it feel like we are getting ahead. Doing 500 things at once with each task lacking our actual attention. Leaving us feeling exhausted and burnt out.
Could you relate to any of these? You will notice a pattern. All of these limiting, unhelpful patterns are lacking presence. Our brain is either thinking about the past, the future, or too overstimulated and crazy to be present. Try to be curious this week. When you’re feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, ask yourself, “Am I present?” and “How can I come back to the present?”
Being present is more then just being present with your thoughts, its also helping your body being present. I’ve created a list of ways to help both become more present.
- Take a minute or 2 to just sit and gaze. Observe the world around you without ‘doing’. Be still. Notice nature, the colors, shapes, and sounds. Go through the 5 senses and notice each one.
- Place your hand on your chest, close your eyes, and take a few deep slow breaths.
- On each hour, pause and take note of your thoughts. Are they true for right now? Where is my head? Gently replace those thoughts with something that is true now in this moment. Include a smile and fist pumps. Or some real laughter (or fake works just as good).
- Take your hands and slowly rub them up and down textures. Arms, clothes, the wall, blanket, an item by you. Notice how it feels.
- Repeat after me. “I have enough time. I have enough energy. I have enough love. Etc” Whatever resonates with you.
- Stop what you are doing and just gaze out the window as far as you can. There’s a bigger world out there. Its not all up to you.
- DO ONE THING AT A TIME. When you find yourself thinking about all the things that need to be done, we usually are thinking about them all as if they are all needing to be done now. In reality, each day will take care of itself. Each task will get done and if it doesn’t its going to be just fine without. One thing next, not 10. Ask yourself, “Ok, this does look overwhelming and big but what is the next one thing I can do?” Even going into family deals, the whole deal might feel hard but come back to the present. “Yes, this person is triggering but I can take it one moment at a time. One minute at a time I WILL do fine.”
One moment, one minute, one day, not all at once. That’s how the clock works. That’s how the sun goes. It takes hours to rise and set. It doesn’t rush, it gets covered by one cloud at a time and eventually each cloud moves on and it has a gorgeous sunset again.
So, here is my reminder for you. Practice being present. Be like the sun. You were never meant to do it all. Ask for help. Step away. Nurture those triggered parts of you. Your triggers are usually stemming from the past or the future and not so much the present even. Being present in a better truth can really be the ticket to showing our nervous system we got this.
Disclaimer for those in another field: Sometimes our present SITUATION really isn’t so great and has a lot of grief and hard things. Maybe this year is the first year without out that loved one. Maybe you’re still childless. Maybe you still don’t have answers. Maybe you got a scary diagnosis. We can be avoiding the present because our present situation is something we would rather avoid and not feel. Try this year to lean towards still being present in those times with yourself as best you can, even just a little. Showing up for these triggered and sad parts of you with options from the list above. Exercising love, compassion and grace for these parts of you. Being present is still healing for you.
Merry Christmas.
May this Christmas be different from all the others. May it be filled with a little more softness. A little more hope. A little more laughter. And the beginning of a story that’s not so bad. Turn the page in your book to a new blank one this Christmas. Leaving the past ones in the past and the future ones open to possibilities of goodness, strength, and hope.
hp
