Last night the road that goes right past our driveway was different than what we were used to the last 18 months. There were less signs, less buildings, and less equipment sitting around. An old bridge got replaced, and our driveway was so close to this bridge that we had to drive through the construction site to get home every day. Today, the new bridge officially opened. I was used to navigating past their office, signs, and watching for workers. Now I just saw a straight dotted line up the middle. Having this bridge built had meant lots of extra noise that we could hear from our yard. It meant going way around when we just wanted to get to the next mile road, and it was honestly a pain. Earlier in the day I had seen a friend post excitedly online how the bridge was open, but now as I drove home in the dark with no reflecting signs or objects that made up the construction site, I felt a sense of emptiness. I pondered this all and realized I had become familiar with how things were. At the beginning, it was a pain, but it turned familiar and normal to me. Now it was gone.
This is how chronic illness and healing can be. At first, it makes us scared and anxious. What is going on with our bodies and health? Then we get very used to putting up with and adjusting to the new unhealthy normal. We find ways to cope. We take the paths we need to take to get what we need. Deep down, we always want healing, but after years of illness, the idea of not having this label or identity seems almost scary. Who would we even be if we didn’t have the symptoms, the crashes, or the isolation? (aka: the construction signs, buildings, people, piles of metal and wood). To have them all gone would be the best thing ever, but the truth is, a lot of people feel safer to stay in what is familiar, even if that means being extremely stuck and held back by illness.
So, embrace the road that could be yours. Lean into the idea of healing, of allowing that road to empty out, and be less cluttered with negative and illness. Open your heart to healing so the empty road can then lead you through beautiful valleys, forests, and places that, in turn, fill your road with joy and purpose.
♡Hp
